Why do we need these holidays? All these remembrances? Dad had his last xmas at our apartment on Crofton in December 1986. The last xmas card photo of me and Paulie Joe (my ex) was taken in Montauk in August 1997. (He was in love with that Monday-girl, Jenn, then. Oi.) Mom died in 2003 shortly after the xmas season. I hardly spoke a word to my sister the last time I spent xmas with my family. These holidays make me sad. Yes, sad. But OK...to make myself happy, I shop and shop for tons-o-gifts and wrap them in all this glittery gold-red-green paper and frilly ribbons. I take folks out for dinner. Go to parties. And I send out about 100 (that's 100!) xmas cards all over the world.

What's so funny 'bout peace, love, and understanding?