Letting those big tears roll down my cheeks. Sorrow? Self-pity? Folks say I must move on but I can hope and dream, can’t I? Too many memories of good times and bad; too many years.

When a man leaves his wife of twenty years for a 25-year old, is that a blessing or mistake? Blessing or mistake? Where did he think he was going—to a better life to a fuller dream to a greater soulful experience? Now time has passed and we are both alone. No little lady to sleep with, and no middle-aged wife.

Lessons? I think I learned a few. Slowing down, compassion, living in earnest. The music plays the same old song and we are both alone. Carrying the torch for whom?

The yard is filled with roses of all kinds and they are fragrant. Motioning in the wind to pluck them, their hearts softer now and tame. Flowers that come and go but where are you, my husband? Living the free life, the good life? Looking around the bend. Poor. Alone. Searching.