girlhood did wonders for my self esteem
the father who could not attend the music concert
where I sang solo
the mother who never asked how I really felt
about anything
except years later when my husband left, she queried
“Was it the book?”

I was writing a book then—a nursing book, mind you
Mom thought book was the reason he drifted
as I was too busy writing
to pay attention to husband’s needs

but I said “No, it was not the book.”
’twas the affair
with the 24-year old singer, actress, waitress
who-knows-who-she-is-now
long gone to other boyfriends, mind you

ah, now womanhood does wonders for my self-esteem
but I am still asking what role girlhood played
and how I shall play now that i am an old woman
I am so all grown up now…