boys younger than expected
washed jeans weary eyes
doped by youth and vengeance toward older women
speech rapid, scattered
sex talk
and trite conversation
about jpeg

then
taller than most and nodding toward me
he seemed born out of wall-papered walls
erectile function intact
obvious within its packaging

we brushed past each other and smelled the musk
the sweat
the breath
the hope

I swallowed hard forgiving myself
the attraction
not noticing the absence of his hand at first
instead intrigued by a moan
let out I thought for me

musing on the hand
I asked him
to explain

“mother cut it off in a rage at menopause”
he 4
she 44
father gone
to suicide
he given to the community of elders

too young for me
but wanting me
we drifted
alongside the garage steps
to the camaro parked
and got in

one hand was all it took